The Reward of Prayer

I’ve found myself praying a lot more than usual during the last few months, but the prayers have been different. Often my prayers are bold, brash, and pragmatic, asking God to provide something or do something or help me out in some specific way. Then I sit back and see if the prayer gets answered. And some of my prayers during this time have been like that—like “God, would you end this virus.” But most of my prayers during this period have been different: more simple, honest, and communal—like “God, I need you” or “God, please help” or “God, thank you” or “God, give me wisdom.” It’s as if the peculiarity of this time has stripped down my prayer life and named the truest parts of my relationship with God.

Our audible and/or conscious prayers can often be fairly selfish prayers of petition, where we’re asking God to provide something for us. And I think that’s because we don’t really know what else to talk to God about. But I think if we were able to acknowledge and name the truest prayers of our hearts—the true desires we wish to express to a power greater than ourselves—we would more often find ourselves praying these simple, beautiful, communal prayers. We would pray like the psalmist, saying, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.” Deep in our inmost parts, we really just want to know God and be known.

Which is what Jesus says will happen when we pray sincerely.

In Matthew 6:6, Jesus offers us these instructions about prayer: “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Now, at first glance, that sort of prayer still feels like a bold, brash, and pragmatic prayer of petition, where we ask God for something and then await our reward: the answer to our prayers. But that’s not exactly the picture the Greek word for “reward” (apodosei) is trying to convey. The word literally means “to give back” or “return.” So, the pray-er gives something…and then God gives it back or returns it. Which, what does the pray-er give? Nothing more than time, attention, dedication, and complete presence. So then, that is the ‘reward’ we get back from God; the thing he gives back or returns. Sometimes God responds to our prayers of petition with practical and tangible answers. But God always responds to the deepest, simplest prayers of our hearts with time, attention, dedication, and complete presence.

And the point I’m making about God’s “rewards” is only further confirmed through the next section of text about fasting, where Jesus uses the same Greek word to once again say that we will be rewarded for fasting—which the reward here is clearly not physical or practical, but can only be meant in terms of God’s time, attention, dedication, and complete presence. When we are present to God through fasting, He is present with us as well. And the same is true in prayer.

So, the point I’ve not-so-succinctly spent nearly 700 words to arrive at is simple: when you pray, especially in this time, allow your prayers to be simple, honest, and real, tapping into your deepest and inmost parts. Because the reward for these prayers is intimate community with the Creator of the universe, your Father in heaven. Yes, we should pray bold, brash, and pragmatic prayers for God to do the miraculous in our world. But Jesus’ wisdom for us in this time (and beyond) is to primarily be people who spend their prayer life in simple, honest, and communal time with God, because when we do, we will be rewarded with God’s very presence—including his comfort, peace, assurance, and hope. He rewards our prayer lives through giving back. When we lean into Him, He leans right back. He meets us in that place and rewards us with His very self.

So, may you lean into God’s presence during this time of uncertainty and stress, and truly sense God returning the favor.

Celebrating the Ascension

Today, in the church calendar, we celebrate the Ascension of Jesus—which is an often-neglected holiday, but one worth considering.

Essentially, this is a day of empowerment. Jesus told his disciples—including us, as his present-day disciples—that they would do even greater things than him. But that can’t happen with him around. Time after time, the disciples turned to Jesus to teach, help, heal, and feed people, rather than doing it themselves. And nothing has changed. I want Jesus to do the miraculous, but often fail to step in and be the miracle people need.

Jesus leaving earth is liberating and enabling. He is still with us in spirit, but leaves the world in our hands to do the things he’s been doing, bless the people he’s been blessing, and form a community of love like he’s been forming. Jesus’ ascension is his bold declaration to us that “you’ve got this!” He believes in us to be the church, empowered to do the ministry he left behind. So, let’s get busy teaching, helping, healing, and feeding.

An Angry Run with Ahmaud

That was an angry run.

I love to keep active and stay in shape, but I hate going running! With a passion…always have, always will. But being unable to play basketball during the pandemic, I’ve resorted to running to stay in shape.

And tonight was the perfect night for a run. I was running for Ahmaud.

But nothing quite went as expected. My dog got sick of running and forced me to take her home mid-run. We ate dinner too late and I felt it in my stomach the whole time. I’m badly out of shape and 2.23 miles is a stretch for me right now. And then, of course, it rained on me for most of the run.

But you know what didn’t happen?! I didn’t get shot.

No one suspected me of burglary based on what I look like. No one chased me down with guns. And no one killed me. Nor did I even worry about any of that for one second. Because I don’t have to…especially where I live…because I’m white.

So, tonight I ran for Ahmaud…and for all the people in our country who face fear and danger simply because their skin is more colorful than mine.

And I ran angry…because it’s unjust and unfair and I simply can’t believe that in the year 2020 we still haven’t progressed to a point where a black man can go for a run in his neighborhood and not have to worry about whether he’ll make it home.

I ran committed to stand up against racism, bigotry, and violence when I see it. I ran to remind myself of the power and privilege I have as a white man in our country and committed to using my power and privilege for good and not evil. I ran to remember those who have been lost to the evil of racism.

Lord, deliver us from evil. For yours is the Kingdom…and it’s a kingdom of love and grace.

Jesus Wisdom on Patience

As I’ve pondered and preached on Jesus’ wisdom for us during this COVID season and beyond, one thing I’ve thought a lot about is patience. I know that patience is a fruit of the spirit, but it’s not a fruit that generally grows freely on my spiritual tree. This season is testing my patience, but also refining me into a more patient person.

While I’m certainly not a Type-A, go-getter personality, I’m also not good at waiting. And I’m probably no different than most. Our culture has bred us to expect immediate results—fast food, two-day shipping, curb-side delivery. We are used to expediency. We wait for nothing.

And, in fact, sometimes patience is treated more as a vice than a virtue. Don’t wait, push for results. Don’t delay, get it before it’s gone. Don’t save for tomorrow what could be accomplished today. Heck, I’ll even alter my route home from work in order to avoid being stuck at a stoplight. We just aren’t great at waiting…but should be. And Jesus can help.

Now, while Jesus does very little talking or teaching about patience in the gospels, he most-certainly demonstrates it. Like, for example, he waits thirty years to start his public ministry. And even once he gets started, he delays his grand ascension to notoriety by continually asking people to keep quiet about his ministry. Jesus feels no need or senses no hurry to accomplish everything and heal everyone. He patiently makes time to escape, reflect, and pray.

And Jesus is constantly patient with those in his life—those begging and pleading, desperate for his assistance and excited for his presence. He often made time for people when I might not have. I think of the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. It’s an exhausting day of ministry, so much so that Jesus puts his disciples in a boat and sends them across the Sea to get away. But not Jesus—the text says that he takes time to greet the people and dismiss them. All of them. Talk about patience. And then, perhaps his greatest show of patience is through how he handles his disciples—who constantly require his patience as they argue, misunderstand, and make mistakes. He never fails to make time for them, explain a parable to them, or help correct a misguided idea.

I don’t know about you, but in this slowed season of COVID, I want to learn to be a more patient person. I want to slow down, tune in, listen more, and be more present to my family, friends, world, and self. I want to remind myself, in moments I would typically be impatient, to take a deep breath and have greater perspective on how this patience-testing moment is really not as inconvenient as I think.

I’ve appreciated the natural rhythms of this season that are helping me take steps in building patience. I didn’t start building puzzles, during this quarantine, to help foster more patience; but it’s certainly helped. And I didn’t expect to have our kids home with us 24/7 during the months of April, May, and June; but it’s definitely helping me hone the discipline of patience.

I’m certainly not happy this pandemic has happened, but I’m trying to allow this unanticipated season of patience-building to shape me moving forward. May we all be better attuned to the work of the Spirit within us, so we increasingly witness the fruit of patience in our lives.