Often it is incredibly frustrating to feel like I pour my life into ministry and rarely feel the fruits of my labor. Throughout my time in ministry I have gone through a series of highs and lows in this area. Sometimes I feel successful for the Kingdom, and sometimes I feel like a failure. I know in my head to 'keep an eternal perspective,' but that is easier said than done.
This is one of those down times. I am not questioning my faith, or whether God exists, or whether prayer works, or if I am called to ministry, etc. Sometimes I DO have those questions, but not now. I think I am wondering if there is more to life than this. Is there more to ministry than this? Is what were doing in churches today having any impact? Are we making any ground? Is providing an activity once or twice a week for students actually accomplishing anything?
For those taking the time to read this, I say thank you and sorry in the same breathe, because I am fully aware that I am simply rambling and have no answers or solutions to my questions. This is simply a report on what I'm thinking. Obviously I don't know what I'm thinking.
May we be people who aren't afraid to admit that we don't have it all figured out. May we never stop asking the hard questions, even when people tell us to shut up. May we strive for so much more than we have now. May we seek to be Christ-like in all we do, including our ministry (regardless of what that looks like).