Friday, December 7, 2012
Thoughts on Thirty, Part 3
I never want to be boring.
This was my greatest fear in becoming a parent. Call me selfish for caring about myself, but I don't care. I wasn't overly worried about being a good dad. I wasn't terribly concerned about continuing to be a good husband. Perhaps I'm a bit too self-assured, but I was confident in my parenting and husbanding abilities. But what really freaked me out was the idea that settling down, having a child, working a full-time job again, and buying a house would turn me into a monotonous drone of a human. While all these things are inherently wonderful and mean the world to me, I was worried about 'gaining the world but losing my soul.' Mandy and I had lived an exciting life throughout our twenties and I didn't want to lose that sense of thrill and passion. We had lived well, an abundant life, and I did not want to sacrifice this in the process of raising a child.
Can I find a way to BOTH plant roots AND be adventurous and always-changing?
I'm not totally sure I can answer this question yet. I know the answer is yes, but I'm not sure what the adventure will look like in this new phase of our lives. Ask me in a decade and I should have a better idea. But for now, I know for sure that I am blessed to have had the experiences I've had and I'm so grateful to have had wonderful people alongside of me on the journey. I have the most amazing friends in Montana, South Dakota, and Washington, I have an incredibly supportive family, and most of all, I am married to my best friend and have an unimaginably special daughter. Life is good - and I don't think that is changing anytime soon.
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This fact of your life makes me feel so ____________ old. I turn 40 this year. I was 30 when I moved out of Montana.ReplyDelete